is this funny? Willem DaFoe and Will Farrell in The Procedure

Is this? Nell Carter + Bea Arthur+ Carlton Banks = OMFG!

I’m sure this is.. Zach Galifianakis’ Kanye West Video

Apparently a lot of people have had this problem. Most of them have fixed it by adding a string in the registry but that string is already in mine and it’s still not working. I hate technology.

I’m going to work at Elvis’s café tomorrow. I’ve never work a service job before, I suck at math, and of course the interaction with Swedish people speaking Swedish is scary. I just hope they don’t ask to many questions and just stick to the basic “en kaffe tack.” But it will be worth it. Elvis and I negotiated and I got benefits out of it. That includes Dental! So after work tomorrow I should get that root canal I need. Maybe a grill.

Tweedledee is leaving for China tomorrow. He’ll be gone for 6 months. And unlike the other Tweedle, I think he will actually stay there that long. What will I do!!??!! Well in truth I am going to be going back to Linköping soon anyway so it wont make that much of a difference in my life. Which is all that matters.. my life. And I am really excited to hear how it goes for him.

It will be nice to get back to my apartment and life, although I will be really busy. I’m going to be study full time and getting my licenses and working here and there. I have like a million little things that need to be taken care of. Since I got married my name has changed and the visa in my passport has expired. So I need to get a new passport with the right name, and get a new visa put it in. Plus my Swedish ID card expired in 2004 so I need a new one of those with the right name, and my bankcard not only has the wrong name but is also demagnetized so I need to fix that. Not to mention the Swedish citizenship form I need to send in, then the Swedish passport I’ll need to get. At this point I can barley prove my existence to either the Swedish or American government. These things aren’t difficult just a pain. The American passport will mean a trip to Stockholm to the Embassy and the Swedish citizenship form asks me all kinds of detailed questions like how much money I’ve made since I’ve lived in Sweden. I’m going to have to get several forms from the tax authority for that and to verify to the American government that my name has changed. I need an assistant. Plus I don’t even want to think of the hassle that awaits me in arguing to the Swedish government the my middle name is indeed Kerr. I’ve been told before that Kerr is not a legitimate middle name because it’s a surname. OK fine.. but I wasn’t named in Sweden according to Swedish rules!

That’s all. Now I’m going to wait until Tweedledum calls me and tells me I can come over and cry while I watch him pack his suitcase and leave my life forever.

The campus has been getting a lot of renovations the past few years, and about one year ago they took this research group and put us in this “temporary building.” It’s like a bunker. We call it the bunker. It’s pretty flimsy and the hallway is narrow, and my office is opposite the printer room. So everyday, all day, everyone is walking past my office to get to the printer, with the floor creaking under them.  People wear the loudest shoes!! Women with there heels and boots and  the head of the department wears clogs. There’s this one guy who seems to have never learned to pick his feet up when taking a step, so I hear him shuffling around all day. Mostly I listen to music with my head phones on, but then I never hear anyone knock on my door. Plus I have these really nice, fancy button head phones you stick in your ear. You can’t hear anything when you have them on, which is great but after wearing them a few hours the insides of my ears start to itch which I find REALLY annoying, so I have to take them out.

The free coffee from the machine in the break room is disgusting, to say the least, so you have to go across the street to the over priced cafe which has it’s own problems. I want a LARGE coffee. Something to bring back to my desk and sit and drink for hours. But in typical Swedish fashion they give you this little take away cup that holds about 3 tablespoons of coffee. So you can have a quick, cute fika on the go.

My office is always cold. Although today I was in such a rush to leave on time, I didn’t think about what I was wearing in connection to what the weather was like. So it’s cold and rainy and I have a short sleeved, low necked shirt on. I’m such an artard.

My office has a giant window out to the hall covered with only a piece of white nylon. Just enough so when you are sitting in here you feel as though you have privacy but everyone can see everything as they pass.

I tried out the other bathroom today, as apposed to the one I use all the time. Next to the toilet was a dispenser. The picture showed a happy bathroom patron putting a towel up to it and pressing a button and then wiping the toilet seat with the towel. It seemed to be a anti bacterial gel dispenser. I started to get a little happier, like the woman in the picture, but when I pressed the button nothing came out. It was bone dry.

I think I need to hit someone before the day is over.  Just one or two good shots should do the trick. Hmmmm….. who could I hit…. thinking, thinking…. who deserves a good punch in the face? And who’s face is at the same height as mine.. because they are short and stupid.. and smell and I HATE YOU!

It’s annoying the shit out of me!!

The whole way the sun is just beating down on my face making me squint and sweat like a pig. I’m not hot or sweaty anywhere else, just my face. The whole way there there’s not a spot of shade, there’s hardly any trees, just long bare paved roads. Plus I have this hair, which is like having a Sheep dog strapped to your head. Last month I was sick twice and ever since then my nose wont stop running. So I’m walking with the sun beating down on me and in my eyes, my hot hair sticking to the sweat on my face and sniffing the whole way because everyday I forget to bring Kleenex. Urrrggg. It’s just so uncomfortable and annoying.. because the walk it’s self is nice and not strenuous in the least but by the time I get to work I look awful. Like I was in the gym working out. I’m not trying to look good for anyone here, but I would like to keep a little dignity. I need a sun umbrella. Something classy and understated like this….

I have again displayed my superior skills at digging and sifting threw steaming piles of data, dati. The results of my sleuthing are confidential, of-course, but sufficed to say I will have more work coming to me. “coming to me” that sounds so hostile. But it is really. Or well, it’s the kind of job someone should complain about… but it suits me so well. When I was little my mom had an old apple.. (that’s about all the technical info I can give) and the only thing for me to do on it was play with the paint program. Did I draw horses, or rainbows, or pictures of my family, no. I filled the page with black and then used the erased to make it white again. Seriously. And not in like fun patterns or anything.. but lines. It was great. Erasing every pixel of black.. slowly and tediously. That’s basically what my job is. Slowly and tediously making something perfect.

And for future reference, I can’t spell. So don’t even expect it. And I’ve noticed that my years and years of constant on-line chatting have made this … a really bad habit. For every sentence I write I feel the urge to work it in some where. Or just tag it on the end…