people

I can’t play the guitar so I can’t be Django Reinhardt, but I can play the violin. So my new goal is to play gypsy violin and be Stéphane Grappelli.

Notice How Django Reinhardt only uses two fingers. The others were left motionless after he was in a fire. It’s insane!

I’m such a tard. I figured out what was wrong with the sound in my browser. Tonight I realized other things were lacking sound too, but it was really random so I new my sound card was not dieing. I opened this MSI sound manager and it was set up for like a 24 speaker sound system. I changed that and it still didn’t work. So on a whim I checked to see where the speakers were actually plugged into. Yeah… not the right plug. I’m a total goofus. The good news, I now have sound! Let’s celebrate!

So why is it the all the comedians I love never do anything? Sarah Silverman, Zach Galifianakis, Harland Williams, David Cross. They are all really funny people, but only show up in these shitty movies with minor roles. With the exception of Harland Williams who’s portrayal of the hitchhiker in “There’s Something About Mary” was great. But a girl can only live on the six minuet abs scene for so long. Why can’t they come do stand up in Sweden?

Firefox/flashplayer is disobeying me. I have no sound in embedded videos. Which means I can’t watch any thing. No YouTube, no video blogs from Rosie O’Donnell, and no clips from the comedy central insider.

is this funny? Willem DaFoe and Will Farrell in The Procedure

Is this? Nell Carter + Bea Arthur+ Carlton Banks = OMFG!

I’m sure this is.. Zach Galifianakis’ Kanye West Video

Apparently a lot of people have had this problem. Most of them have fixed it by adding a string in the registry but that string is already in mine and it’s still not working. I hate technology.

I’m going to work at Elvis’s café tomorrow. I’ve never work a service job before, I suck at math, and of course the interaction with Swedish people speaking Swedish is scary. I just hope they don’t ask to many questions and just stick to the basic “en kaffe tack.” But it will be worth it. Elvis and I negotiated and I got benefits out of it. That includes Dental! So after work tomorrow I should get that root canal I need. Maybe a grill.

Tweedledee is leaving for China tomorrow. He’ll be gone for 6 months. And unlike the other Tweedle, I think he will actually stay there that long. What will I do!!??!! Well in truth I am going to be going back to Linköping soon anyway so it wont make that much of a difference in my life. Which is all that matters.. my life. And I am really excited to hear how it goes for him.

It will be nice to get back to my apartment and life, although I will be really busy. I’m going to be study full time and getting my licenses and working here and there. I have like a million little things that need to be taken care of. Since I got married my name has changed and the visa in my passport has expired. So I need to get a new passport with the right name, and get a new visa put it in. Plus my Swedish ID card expired in 2004 so I need a new one of those with the right name, and my bankcard not only has the wrong name but is also demagnetized so I need to fix that. Not to mention the Swedish citizenship form I need to send in, then the Swedish passport I’ll need to get. At this point I can barley prove my existence to either the Swedish or American government. These things aren’t difficult just a pain. The American passport will mean a trip to Stockholm to the Embassy and the Swedish citizenship form asks me all kinds of detailed questions like how much money I’ve made since I’ve lived in Sweden. I’m going to have to get several forms from the tax authority for that and to verify to the American government that my name has changed. I need an assistant. Plus I don’t even want to think of the hassle that awaits me in arguing to the Swedish government the my middle name is indeed Kerr. I’ve been told before that Kerr is not a legitimate middle name because it’s a surname. OK fine.. but I wasn’t named in Sweden according to Swedish rules!

That’s all. Now I’m going to wait until Tweedledum calls me and tells me I can come over and cry while I watch him pack his suitcase and leave my life forever.

I had a busy weekend. On Friday a whole group of us went out. #22 was in town and Perl has moved back so we painted the town red. Pink at least. We went to the established “old fogies” pub in town. It’s full of 40 to 60 year olds getting their drink on. We wanted a place without loud music and 18 year olds. After a few hours we moved on to the skanky dank pit that we inhabited every night during our early twenties. (I think I can say early twenties now that I’m 25.) As Perl said “returning to the scene of the crime.” The night was fun. There was an incident with a bald headed, lesbian, punk. She tried to make me her bitch. She surprised kissed me and then kept trying to hold my hand. I get the shivers just thinking about it. Nothing wrong with lesbians, but she was just not my type!

What’s up with Blackouts? Practically everyone I know has a blackout when they drink. I know that’s a sign of alcoholism, but can it be true that 80% of my friends are alcoholics?!? It’s never happened to me and I’m not what you would call a light drinker. Now a days’ I rarely drink, but back in the day… Maybe swede’s are more sensitive to alcohol, like other ethnic groups who lack certain enzymes involved in metabolizing alcohol in the liver. I guess my Italian genes are good for something. But the blackouts my friends experience are really starting to get on my nerves. I’m not concerned about their health or well being, but there are whole after parties were we have been sitting and talking for hours, that they don’t remember the next day! That’s just irritating! The first person I knew who had blackouts was an old boyfriend. I told him that it was a sign of alcoholism and that he should stop drinking. He got really pissy and we broke up. Apparently I’m a bitch. Whatever. I just remembered, the day after we went out one of the guys was saying he didn’t remember anything after we got to the second bar, and I told him he should stop drinking. Some things never change. Like my heartless accusations.

Saturday they were having a “Äckelfest” at the Roxy. A group of us went there to see “Vase de noces,” “One man and his pig.” There’s so much to be said about this film, and yet there’s nothing to say really. I understood the whole having babies with the pig, and killing the babies, and the pig killing herself, but after the first 15 minuets of the poop montage, I was lost for the next 15 minuets of it. Did they think the importance of the fecal eating would be lost if there was only a few minuets of it.. as apposed to 30! I do however agree with my one friend that said it was interesting the way they managed to have an emotion intermixed with disgusting images in almost every scene. Love/bestiality, fear/childbirth, anger/dead piglets, sadness/poop and so on and so on. I still prefer to be grossed out by a John Waters movie myself.

I think that’s about all I feel comfortable sharing for now. Today is the man’s birthday. As his present he gets to punch me in the ovaries.

Ok fine… the last post.. is all about Lukas.

The following is not to be taken very seriously

I feel like shaking things up. So I decided to post reasons why I hate people from my past. Very Alanis Morissette of me. And don’t assume you know who I’m talking about. I doubt you do.

I hate you for not being honest

I hate you for avoiding conflict.

I hate you for not standing up for me.

I hate you for leaving.

I hate you for being weak.

I hate you for being clingy.

I hate you for being so insecure you couldn’t talk to me.

I hate you for not being what I wanted you to be.

I hate you for installing doubt in me.

I hate you for thinking I’m stupid.

I hate you for not wanting it as much as I did.

I hate you for putting me on a pedestal.

And now the fun part. In making this list and going over all the reasons I have hated people I realize two things. One I hate several people for the same reasons, and two, I hate myself for all these reasons. Ooooh doesn’t projection just blow your mind. Let’s try it with love.

I love you for being supportive.

I love you for saying that thing to me that time.. at my place…

I love you for the night you felt so protective of me.

I love you for always standing up for me.

I love you for telling me what I’m good at.

I love you for calming me down.

I love you for freaking me out.

I love you for not knowing what you want.

I love you for making me laugh at every stupid thing you say.

I love you for not judging.

I love you for punching me.

Just as I thought. Doesn’t work in the same way at all. So projection is all about negativity.