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F U sex and the city

September 13, 2008 in Feminism, men, movies, music, ranting | No comments

I watched the Sex and the City movie last night, and for those who haven’t seen it and want to, stop reading because I’m about to spoil it.

What the hell man!?!? I liked the show, but the movie was on crack. So Carrie and Big are going to get married, he jilts her at the alter, she feels like crap for a few months, until she decides it was all her fault and goes back to him. What? Her reasoning is that she went over board with the wedding.. so it was completely reasonable for him not to show up… because lord knows… a wedding is usually exactly the way the man wants it.. and it’s not ingrained into American culture and the mind of most young girls that a wedding is all about a woman and how she wants it to be. Ok, yes that’s stupid and it shouldn’t be like that, but is that reason to stand a woman up at the alter. She takes it really hard, she’s like in a coma of grief. Meanwhile one of her best friends is breaking up with her husband and the father of her baby because he cheats on her and that friend is consoling Carrie. It’s not nice to be left at the alter, but I think the state of a marriage with a child involved would be a little more serious then a guy whom you’ve know was an ass hole for the past 10 years… acting like an ass hole.  How selfish of a friend is Carrie? So yeah you expend all this emotion on how her life is devastated because she was left at the alter. She slowly gets her life back and is all hot shit again and what does she do when she sees him for the first time… runs into his arms and starts sucking his face. How is the audiance supposed to be happy about this?  Lord knows I’ve fallen for some REAL ass holes in my day… but this was supremely retarded and unrealistic even to me!! So the movie is him acting like a shit heal, and her blaming herself for it. He’s an ass, and she blames herself. Do you get that? That’s exactly what every woman is trained to believe. Woman are responsible… for everything. I am now going to post a video. It’s John Lennon explaining and preforming one of his most insightful songs.

<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=S5lMxWWK218" onclick="javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackEvent','outbound-article','http://youtube.com']);">http://youtube.com/watch?v=S5lMxWWK218</a>

Woman is the nigger of the world
Yes she is…think about it
Woman is the nigger of the world
Think about it…do something about it

We make her paint her face and dance
If she wont be a slave, we say that she don’t love us
If she’s real, we say she’s trying to be a man
While putting her down, we pretend that she’s above us

We make her bear and raise our children
And then we leave her flat for being a fat old mother hen
We tell her home is the only place she should be
Then we complain that she’s too unworldly to be our friend

We insult her every day on TV
And wonder why she has no guts or confidence
When she’s young we kill her will to be free
While telling her not to be so smart we put her down for being so dumb

Raaaspberries!!

March 4, 2008 in movies | No comments

I wrote awhile ago about the Anne and Green Gable miniseries I watched over and over as a kid. Now I want to pay homage to my other equally lame childhood obsession. Thoroughly Modern Millie. Before the musical there was Julie Andrews and Carol Channing and the Tapioca. It’s terrif!!

<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=-6g929abIrs" onclick="javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackEvent','outbound-article','http://youtube.com']);">http://youtube.com/watch?v=-6g929abIrs</a>

<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=p2AxwllQOHE" onclick="javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackEvent','outbound-article','http://youtube.com']);">http://youtube.com/watch?v=p2AxwllQOHE</a>

Now

January 24, 2008 in Pointless, TV, me, movies, music, stuff | No comments

After taking two months to watch all 9 seasons of Roseanne (hence the video below) I’m into other things now. Here’s some of them.

Tripping The Rift is a sci-fi cartoon that I just discovered. It’s like Drawn Together meets Reboot. I’m not sure if Reboot ever made it to the US but I use to watch it in Canada all the time.

I haven’t watched many movies lately but I saw Half Nelson last night which was awesome! Juno was really good.. and I also saw the Bob Dylan movie I’m not There. I’m uncertain how I feel about it. I liked it, but it was so … David Lynch like without the David Lynch stuff. It didn’t have all the macabre, acid trip stuff Lynch does, but it had that kind of disconnected metaphorical thing. I understood that all these different characters in time and places where meant to represent different sides of him and times in his life, but meh. I love biographical movies. Even the crappy made for TV ones, and I wanted this to be a good one, and it is good, but not as a bio pic. It’s no What’s Love Got To Do With It.

I’ve been listening to Amy Winehouse a lot. I’m so individualistic. I know she’s a crack head and last years hottest Halloween costume but whatev. I’ve also been listening to Mos Def. He’s just so super cool. I love rappers with conspiracy theories. Glass Candy, which my brother recommended is awesome. Yann Tiersen is a favorite right now. Oh and the Curb Your Enthusiasm soundtrack is hot in my world.

He called me carrots!

August 27, 2007 in TV, love, movies | No comments

I just finished watching both miniseries, “Anne of Green Gables” and “Anne Of Avonlea.” I haven’t seen either for 10 years or so, but they made me feel the same exact way they did as a kid. I still want to be her and live there, and by god… Gilbert is still dreamy! I think I can now say out of all the movies I watched as a child these are my favorite. I use to wear ribbons in my hair and ride around the neighbourhood on my bike reciting “The Lady of Shalott” Yeah, I was kinda lame.

ang112.jpg

I also watched the third installment from 2000, “Anne Of Green Gables: The Continuing Story.” The plot wasn’t based on any book that Lucy Maud Montgomery wrote. It was Anne in the middle of WWI and dealing with espionage. Funny how she meant everyone from Avonlea on the front line. There’s a new one coming out 2009. Anne fights off robots.

Hours wasted

June 13, 2007 in TV, movies | 1 comment

I’ve been home for that past week preforming my wifely duties. Leaving the coffee maker on, keeping the cupboard doors in the kitchen open, buying food I’m too lazy to cook and letting it rot. My husband is the luckiest man in the world.

I’ve been watching a lot of movies the past few days. Some good some bad. Strangely enough four of them were about crossing dressing. Tootsie, Mrs. Doubtfire, Victor Victoria, and She’s the Man. “Tootsie” was on TV at 3 in the morning and I have to watch it ever time it’s on TV. It’s one of those comfort movies for me. “Mrs. Doubtfire” I watched because I hadn’t seen it since it since I was ten. “Victor/Victoria” was also on TV late at night. Julie Andrews is also a comfort to me. There’s this movie she was in in the 60′s called Thoroughly Modern Millie which was an obsession of mine when I was little. I’ve seen that movie a hundred times. As a result I feel the need to watch things she’s in. I’ve even seen The Princess Diaries. Although not a hundred times. “She’s The Man” was recommend to me by this guy on the Internet. He said it was not as bad as it sounded, and that Amanda Bynes had really great comedic timing. I agree to some extent. It’s not AS bad as it sounds.. and Amanda Bynes does have talent.. but meh. It’s pretty bad. Other non cross dressing films I’ve seen the last few days. Pick Up Your Ears, War of The Roses, Desperate Hours, and Dirty Love. I had seen all but Dirty Love before. I was really excited about this movie because it was Jenny McCarthy and I love her and her fake boob, bleached blond, playboy playmate, burping and farting schtik. The movie was cute.. but she could have done so much more. Although the menstrual bleeding in the store, and the grabbing and shaking her vomit covered boobs was good too.

I love having a movie channel. I love the feeling of just randomly coming across a movie to watch at any time of the day. For some reason it gives me way more satisfaction then going to the movies or renting movies. It’s good when they are old movies too. at least 10 years.

Oh crap! I can’t believe I almost forgot to mention the movie I saw tonight. Call me: The Rise and Fall of Heidi Fleiss. I love TV movies with all my heart, and this was ok. It was no Lifetime TV movie. I wounder if you can buy a box set of Lifetime TV movies. Oh my Gosh you can! Lifetime Movies. Baby for Sale looks really good.

Now I’m all misty eyed for the great Television shows I was raised on. Who’s the boss, Mr. Belvedere, Golden Girls. I’ve spent so much of my childhood watching TV. I’m like the real life Cable guy.

“There where Lesbians?”

June 4, 2007 in drinking, movies, people | No comments

I had a busy weekend. On Friday a whole group of us went out. #22 was in town and Perl has moved back so we painted the town red. Pink at least. We went to the established “old fogies” pub in town. It’s full of 40 to 60 year olds getting their drink on. We wanted a place without loud music and 18 year olds. After a few hours we moved on to the skanky dank pit that we inhabited every night during our early twenties. (I think I can say early twenties now that I’m 25.) As Perl said “returning to the scene of the crime.” The night was fun. There was an incident with a bald headed, lesbian, punk. She tried to make me her bitch. She surprised kissed me and then kept trying to hold my hand. I get the shivers just thinking about it. Nothing wrong with lesbians, but she was just not my type!

What’s up with Blackouts? Practically everyone I know has a blackout when they drink. I know that’s a sign of alcoholism, but can it be true that 80% of my friends are alcoholics?!? It’s never happened to me and I’m not what you would call a light drinker. Now a days’ I rarely drink, but back in the day… Maybe swede’s are more sensitive to alcohol, like other ethnic groups who lack certain enzymes involved in metabolizing alcohol in the liver. I guess my Italian genes are good for something. But the blackouts my friends experience are really starting to get on my nerves. I’m not concerned about their health or well being, but there are whole after parties were we have been sitting and talking for hours, that they don’t remember the next day! That’s just irritating! The first person I knew who had blackouts was an old boyfriend. I told him that it was a sign of alcoholism and that he should stop drinking. He got really pissy and we broke up. Apparently I’m a bitch. Whatever. I just remembered, the day after we went out one of the guys was saying he didn’t remember anything after we got to the second bar, and I told him he should stop drinking. Some things never change. Like my heartless accusations.

Saturday they were having a “Äckelfest” at the Roxy. A group of us went there to see “Vase de noces,” “One man and his pig.” There’s so much to be said about this film, and yet there’s nothing to say really. I understood the whole having babies with the pig, and killing the babies, and the pig killing herself, but after the first 15 minuets of the poop montage, I was lost for the next 15 minuets of it. Did they think the importance of the fecal eating would be lost if there was only a few minuets of it.. as apposed to 30! I do however agree with my one friend that said it was interesting the way they managed to have an emotion intermixed with disgusting images in almost every scene. Love/bestiality, fear/childbirth, anger/dead piglets, sadness/poop and so on and so on. I still prefer to be grossed out by a John Waters movie myself.

I think that’s about all I feel comfortable sharing for now. Today is the man’s birthday. As his present he gets to punch me in the ovaries.