men

I watched the Sex and the City movie last night, and for those who haven’t seen it and want to, stop reading because I’m about to spoil it.

What the hell man!?!? I liked the show, but the movie was on crack. So Carrie and Big are going to get married, he jilts her at the alter, she feels like crap for a few months, until she decides it was all her fault and goes back to him. What? Her reasoning is that she went over board with the wedding.. so it was completely reasonable for him not to show up… because lord knows… a wedding is usually exactly the way the man wants it.. and it’s not ingrained into American culture and the mind of most young girls that a wedding is all about a woman and how she wants it to be. Ok, yes that’s stupid and it shouldn’t be like that, but is that reason to stand a woman up at the alter. She takes it really hard, she’s like in a coma of grief. Meanwhile one of her best friends is breaking up with her husband and the father of her baby because he cheats on her and that friend is consoling Carrie. It’s not nice to be left at the alter, but I think the state of a marriage with a child involved would be a little more serious then a guy whom you’ve know was an ass hole for the past 10 years… acting like an ass hole.  How selfish of a friend is Carrie? So yeah you expend all this emotion on how her life is devastated because she was left at the alter. She slowly gets her life back and is all hot shit again and what does she do when she sees him for the first time… runs into his arms and starts sucking his face. How is the audiance supposed to be happy about this?  Lord knows I’ve fallen for some REAL ass holes in my day… but this was supremely retarded and unrealistic even to me!! So the movie is him acting like a shit heal, and her blaming herself for it. He’s an ass, and she blames herself. Do you get that? That’s exactly what every woman is trained to believe. Woman are responsible… for everything. I am now going to post a video. It’s John Lennon explaining and preforming one of his most insightful songs.

Woman is the nigger of the world
Yes she is…think about it
Woman is the nigger of the world
Think about it…do something about it

We make her paint her face and dance
If she wont be a slave, we say that she don’t love us
If she’s real, we say she’s trying to be a man
While putting her down, we pretend that she’s above us

We make her bear and raise our children
And then we leave her flat for being a fat old mother hen
We tell her home is the only place she should be
Then we complain that she’s too unworldly to be our friend

We insult her every day on TV
And wonder why she has no guts or confidence
When she’s young we kill her will to be free
While telling her not to be so smart we put her down for being so dumb

I was just getting coffee at the University cafe thing… and some guy offered to buy it for me. It was mega embarrassing and uncomfortable. This kind of thing has been happening a lot since I’ve lost weight. I forgot that the best part of being a Fatty McFat Fat is that men don’t bother you or look at you. It’s great. I don’t like talking to people in general, and when it’s a guy hitting on me.. *shudder* Even when I was single.

I’m not ugly, I’m meh, ok looking,  and I don’t blame this guy, or most guys for trying. It is flattering.. but mostly it’s just embarrassing. I want to be unnoticed, incognito.. like a shadow. No, I didn’t let him buy me the coffee although he was pretty cute. The woman at the cash register really enjoyed the whole thing. Like she was watching a movie or was an audience member of the Ricki Lake show. We were standing there and he was like “no, let me get this..” and I was desperately getting the cash out of my wallet and he was like “come on, go for it..” (he really said that) and I was like “oh here. (finding the cash) No, I got it, but thanks anyway.” and he was like “next time.” and she was like.. “ooooooohhhhh.”  It was probably the most exciting thing to happen to her all day at that job. So first on the agenda– gain back every pound I’ve lost and more.

I remember the first time I was going to go to Italy, I was talking to my Grandmother (who was Italian) and her advice was to watch out for the men “they pinch.” Although I was never pinched there.. she was right. Walking around in Italy was like something I had never experienced before. Every man felt free to stare at any part of your body they felt like. They had no shame. It was pretty degrading. The only time they kept their lurid stares to themselves was when I was out with another man. So at least they have respect for other men’s property.

Swedish men, on the whole are much tamer. The only time they become over baring and brutish is when they’ve been drinking. And when the morning comes, they turn back into their meek selves. A friend of mine told me years ago, he thought it was pathetic the way Swedish men didn’t… I forget how he put it but essentially, club me over the head and drag me home. He was British, and a brute himself. I was 18 and he was … lets say, not. He ogled me all the time, and I giggled. But he was my friend. That’s the strange thing. I don’t mind attention from my male friends. I encourage it. But if I don’t know you and I’m doing something like buying a coffee, or sitting on the bus, or walking down the street, leave me alone. Unless you are Johnny Deep obviously.

There was a guy on my train yesterday that looked just like Matthew Fox only a few years younger. It was a pleasant train ride. Unfortunately he didn’t offer to buy me anything.