Time Capsule: I just found this hidden away on my computer. My best friend and I wrote it for lolz when we were like 17.
To whom ever it may concern:
As you all know Valentines has previously been a very busy time for the two of us. Phone calls, flowers, and love letters have bombarded us. Looking back at this we realized that there is a more simple way to plan the most important night of the year. As the modern day, strong, independent women we are, we know what we want and we wont settle for less. For yours and ours sake, we have taken the time to put together a list of what we are looking for in the perfect Valentines dates, and men to spend it with.
Terms of the Date:
We realize that women can be a bit demanding at times, but we feel that these are just a few simple gentlemanly things that one could do to make our date special.
1) Pick us up within a 100-mile radius.
2) Wear clothing (shoes optional)
3) Show yourselves in public with us. (Negotiable)
4) No reading materials.
5) NO ELECTRONICS! (e.g. Laptops, pacemakers, CD players, or portable video games)
What we require in men:
After all our experiences in dating, we have come to realize that this list is not as unnecessary it might seem to an untrained eye.
1) Two separate men.
2) Born in last century
3) Straight/ bisexual/ at least once fantasized about women
4) No close relatives
What we can accept in men:
Given the last four points, you might find us a little bit picky. There for we want to point out that we are not as hard to please, as we seem. We can overlook the following things:
1) Alcoholics
2) Formally institutionalized or incarcerated
3) Different forms of handicaps. For example:
· Amputees
· Epileptics
· Men suffering from Turrets syndrome
· Various birth defects
4) Smokers/snusers
5) Homeless
6) Incontinent/ Impotent
7) Deaf and/or mute
We offer:
One should know this list is unnecessary
1) Availability ……like you’ve NEVER seen BEFORE!
2) No commitments
3) We are willing to travel. – FAR!
If you or someone you know is interested, or have questions/comments reply to this e-mail. (Letter of recommendation is preferred)
We hope you all have a safe and happy Valentines Day!
All our love,
K**** A*** K******* L***
And
T*** K*** S*******
