November 2008

This story is not all that interesting and it makes me look like a complete dork so I’m posting it.

Sunday morning around 7 my husband and I woke up, I made some coffee and oatmeal, and took it upstairs to see what was on TV. There was nothing good, of course, and we ended up watching Doctor Phil. The topic of the day was “painfully thin.” There was a poor girl with anorexia on who weighted 27 kilos (60 something pounds) I have a week stomach so the oatmeal was out. I never did end up eating it. This girl was so sad, and of course you just felt bad for her.. and then the show was over and we turned off the TV and went about our Sunday.

Fast forward, it’s past 10 that night and I’m watching a movie in bed, “Infamous” which was really good. Actually I thought it was better then the Philip Seymour Hoffman Capote film. Anyway, my husband decides he wants to go to sleep but since I’m watching this movie, he decides to sleep in another bedroom. (He’s really nice and considerate that way) So I finish the movie and get up to go to the bathroom. I walk out of my room and it’s totally dark. I start walking towards the bathroom and suddenly all I can picture is this tall skeleton woman who only ways 27 kilos standing in the dark and I start to get scared. I got really scared and went to get my husband and told him I was scared of the anorexic woman and I wanted him (and the cat) to come back to bed. So he did and that’s the end of the story.

I’m such a dork.. and a horrible person. This poor woman on Doctor Phil just trying to get some help and I turn her into the boogie man. This isn’t the first time I’ve taken something and made something scary out of it. When I was about eight or so there was a Christmas special on TV aimed for kids about Santa Clause. They had air traffic controls talking about seeing unidentified flying objects in the sky on Christmas eve  and this scared the SHIT out of me. It felt like an episode of Unsolved Mysteries. I actually watched that show every Saturday night with my Grandma in her house way out in the country surrounded by woods… woods that I use to imagine cannibals living in. I just have such an over active imagination. I can always get myself worked up by imagining something scary. Actually now that I think about it… I work myself into all kinds of heighten emotional states by imaging things. I could go into a lot of detail now about what I imagine and in regards to whom, but this is enough boring information about me for today.

I need to detoxe. I’ve been eating so much crap and I don’t even enjoy it anymore! I feel like my body is running on empty. I stopped drinking coke 6 months ago and I don’t really eat sugary junk food, but I just feel sickened by the thought of eating another trans fat. My problem is really two fold. I’m lazy about food, which means I put off eating until I’m so hungry I just want to eat something fast, like chips or pizza. I really have to snap out of that. So today I actually ate a breakfast! Ok not till like 5 hours after I got up, but it was before noon so it still counts. Bran oatmeal, with raisins, walnuts and dried cranberries. And tonight I will actually eat a real dinner and not just a frozen pizza! I don’t know why I have this problem. It’s really nuts because I love food so why do I put off eating it? Like breakfast. Me of all people should want to wake up and eat, but I don’t. I wake up and drink copious amounts of coffee until I’m either shaking with a low blood sugar attack, or feel sick. Then I’ll eat like a pound of pasta and a bag of chips and 2 pies and a gallon of milk and a bag of cookies. Then I throw it up.  I just threw that in there to liven up a pointless and boring post. Plus my teeth and hair are falling out and I desperately need help. Haha bulimia is funny.

**Alert: crazy cat lady fantasy ahead

This is our baby Pepper.

Yes, she is  THAT  amazing!

We were just looking at the Örebro Cat Home website, which is where we adopted Pepper from and they have these three cats up for aoption.

I think our plan should be to adopt like 4 more tortoiseshell cats!! We could have a little clan!

We’ll name them Ginger, Coco, Cinnamon, and Nutmeg

Edit: It just dawned on me, this is what would happen to me if I ever adopted children. I would end up with 8 babies from Kenya. All named after different spices.