September 2008

Every night I lay in bed in the dark writing a blog past in my head. Last night as I lay there writing about the rediculiouseness of swear words and the fact that “Hannibal” is a beautiful love story, I realised since I never write the posts the next day I should just record my thoughts as I lay there and post that. “Pillow Talk with Tara.”  Would that be weird?

“Sarah Palin is the most disrespectful thing that anybody could have done to woman at any time.”

-Roseanne Barr on Real Time with Bill Maher

I watched the Sex and the City movie last night, and for those who haven’t seen it and want to, stop reading because I’m about to spoil it.

What the hell man!?!? I liked the show, but the movie was on crack. So Carrie and Big are going to get married, he jilts her at the alter, she feels like crap for a few months, until she decides it was all her fault and goes back to him. What? Her reasoning is that she went over board with the wedding.. so it was completely reasonable for him not to show up… because lord knows… a wedding is usually exactly the way the man wants it.. and it’s not ingrained into American culture and the mind of most young girls that a wedding is all about a woman and how she wants it to be. Ok, yes that’s stupid and it shouldn’t be like that, but is that reason to stand a woman up at the alter. She takes it really hard, she’s like in a coma of grief. Meanwhile one of her best friends is breaking up with her husband and the father of her baby because he cheats on her and that friend is consoling Carrie. It’s not nice to be left at the alter, but I think the state of a marriage with a child involved would be a little more serious then a guy whom you’ve know was an ass hole for the past 10 years… acting like an ass hole.  How selfish of a friend is Carrie? So yeah you expend all this emotion on how her life is devastated because she was left at the alter. She slowly gets her life back and is all hot shit again and what does she do when she sees him for the first time… runs into his arms and starts sucking his face. How is the audiance supposed to be happy about this?  Lord knows I’ve fallen for some REAL ass holes in my day… but this was supremely retarded and unrealistic even to me!! So the movie is him acting like a shit heal, and her blaming herself for it. He’s an ass, and she blames herself. Do you get that? That’s exactly what every woman is trained to believe. Woman are responsible… for everything. I am now going to post a video. It’s John Lennon explaining and preforming one of his most insightful songs.

Woman is the nigger of the world
Yes she is…think about it
Woman is the nigger of the world
Think about it…do something about it

We make her paint her face and dance
If she wont be a slave, we say that she don’t love us
If she’s real, we say she’s trying to be a man
While putting her down, we pretend that she’s above us

We make her bear and raise our children
And then we leave her flat for being a fat old mother hen
We tell her home is the only place she should be
Then we complain that she’s too unworldly to be our friend

We insult her every day on TV
And wonder why she has no guts or confidence
When she’s young we kill her will to be free
While telling her not to be so smart we put her down for being so dumb

Time Capsule: I just found this hidden away on my computer. My best friend and I wrote it for lolz when we were like 17.

To whom ever it may concern:

As you all know Valentines has previously been a very busy time for the two of us. Phone calls, flowers, and love letters have bombarded us. Looking back at this we realized that there is a more simple way to plan the most important night of the year. As the modern day, strong, independent women we are, we know what we want and we wont settle for less. For yours and ours sake, we have taken the time to put together a list of what we are looking for in the perfect Valentines dates, and men to spend it with.

Terms of the Date:

We realize that women can be a bit demanding at times, but we feel that these are just a few simple gentlemanly things that one could do to make our date special.

1) Pick us up within a 100-mile radius.

2) Wear clothing (shoes optional)

3) Show yourselves in public with us. (Negotiable)

4) No reading materials.

5) NO ELECTRONICS! (e.g. Laptops, pacemakers, CD players, or portable video games)

What we require in men:

After all our experiences in dating, we have come to realize that this list is not as unnecessary it might seem to an untrained eye.

1) Two separate men.

2) Born in last century

3) Straight/ bisexual/ at least once fantasized about women

4) No close relatives

What we can accept in men:

Given the last four points, you might find us a little bit picky. There for we want to point out that we are not as hard to please, as we seem. We can overlook the following things:

1) Alcoholics

2) Formally institutionalized or incarcerated

3) Different forms of handicaps. For example:

· Amputees

· Epileptics

· Men suffering from Turrets syndrome

· Various birth defects

4) Smokers/snusers

5) Homeless

6) Incontinent/ Impotent

7) Deaf and/or mute

We offer:

One should know this list is unnecessary

1) Availability ……like you’ve NEVER seen BEFORE!

2) No commitments

3) We are willing to travel. – FAR!

If you or someone you know is interested, or have questions/comments reply to this e-mail. (Letter of recommendation is preferred)

We hope you all have a safe and happy Valentines Day!

All our love,

K**** A*** K******* L***

And

T*** K*** S*******

Don’t wait years to clean behind your stove. What I just saw behind mine will haunt me for years.

One thing I didn’t wait for was registering for my over seas ballot. I got that done today. Now I’m going to clean under the bathtub. Pray for me.